All I Wanted Was Some Plain Jeans and I Ended Up in a Never Ending Nightmare of Fluff Disasters

BY TAHI MOORE

SHRINK TO FIT 501's ORIGINALS ARRIVE

They say to order 1 size too wide on the pocket but I ordered 2 sizes up. Stood in a hot shower, sat out in the sun. Stuck them in a washing machine. Found out they shrink a lot for three washes and finally stop shrinking after ten.

Okay the whole point of sitting in new jeans in a hot bath and sunbathing in them until dry a few times is to get them to take the shape of your body.

THE CUT AND ALL THAT

High waist, tight but has some give. wideish leg - I took them in a bit -, really heavy denim. They came off the line so stiff I leaned them against the wall. Good pocket art. Possibly the only jeans you can safely experiment with online since there's not much point trying them on in a shop when they'll just shrink on you.

REAL JEANS RESULTS

The Levi's originals were like Evisu's, only more so. I think they're good. Made me feel like I was from the twenties. I've looked at too many bum pocket disasters and too much frilly fru fru that gets put all over nearly every pair of jeans I've seen. It's not as easy as it should be to find good plain jeans. I've also seen enough people in plain Levi's that look like two wide indigo cylinders shoved into their testicles to make me regret I ever started looking at jeans. Just please get something that fits. I'm really sick of this. Oh god. oh god. I don't want choice I want good tailoring. I want jeans, not fruit.

BEST YEAH YEAH

The best jeans are said to be Jomons.
The best denim is said to be Kapital.
In my experience heavier denim tends to look better.
The standard jeans of the now are probably Nudies.
You can get plain skinny cowboy Wranglers from a western shop online for twenty dollars.



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