Sunday, December 9, 2007

Video Stores

BY DOMINIC HOEY

Even though it’s now possible to download movies before they’re in theaters, a part of me still enjoys wandering aimlessly though video stores. Perhaps it’s the ability to hold something tangible, or the off chance that I’ll stumble across a good movie I haven’t seen. Unfortunately most video shops are to films what airport bookstores are to literature. With this in mind, I’ve put together a short list of stores in order from best to worse, so you never have to watch another Adam Sandler film because there was nothing else to get.

Video Ezy Ponsonby is a rare exception to this chain stores rule of thumb. Most Video Ezy’s are about as likely to have the Herzog film you’re after as Mc Donald’s is to serve you vegan burgers. Not only does this store boast an impressive collection of classic films, it’s also open 24 hours, which is important if like me, you choose to indulge your love of both drinking and films at once. It’s worth checking out the recently released section, which has a few gems among the TV series and National Geographic documentaries. As one staff member recently pointed out to me, its not that they only get good films, they just get everything. Speaking of the staff, the usually intoxacted employees never seem to mind my inane questions like,”what’s that film with the trucks in it”?

Videon is the antithesis of a chain store, no five for ten dollar speacils or prison blue uniforms here. This store located on Dominion rd, has probably the best selection in Auckland if not the country. Unfortunately many of these films are only available on video, which means you’re reduced to watching your movie of choice in snow storm vision. A friend of mine recently let me use his membership card at Video Ezy, warning me it had some fines on it. It turned out the account had 150 dollars owing, but after handing over $2, I was able to get out Worlds Ten Worse Plane Crashes without any trouble. That shit won't slide at Videon. You’ll be charged the cost of hiring the film everyday its late and won't be able to rent a new one to the debts are paid off. The staff are bristling with so much nineties attitude its like walking into a Kevin Smith film.

Civic Video in Surrey crescent is pretty unremarkable. I just put it in here so I could have four stores to review. It’s got an okay selection especially if you own a video player. It closes early, but isn’t too anal about late fees. It’s kinda like the quiet middle child of video stores in between the popular older sibling and the Down Syndrome half-brother.

Which bring us to Blockbuster New Lynn. I know expecting a Blockbuster to have a quality movie selection is an act of futility bordering on madness, but it’s the closet video store to my girl’s house. Instead what you get is row after row of romantic comedies and straight to DVD sequels of shit films. I once spent over an hour there, in a stoned daze only to leave with The Hills Have Eyes 2 and the distinct feeling I’m wasting my life. To be fair there are probably much worse video stores, but since I’m unlikely to be renting films in Bulls anytime soon, it can serve as the bottom of the barrel.



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5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hi, thanx for ur review - I've just moved to Ak & now know where 2 go for my movies.

On an anal note, in para 2 u spelt "intoxicated" - intoxated. i just had 2 note it, as an english lit major

shesamplified said...

"The staff are bristling with so much nineties attitude its like walking into a Kevin Smith film. "

As someone who works in a video store just like this. This is possibly the funniest thing i have read in a blog to date.

Anonymous said...

well said on the 'nineties' attitude of the staff in videon-sooooo very true, it makes going there an entertainment in its own right.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the nteresting review.

Just had to note even more anally that the anonymous English lit. major misspelt the misspelling (not to mention the shortage of capital letters, and surplus of numbers, both probably brought on by a surfeit of texting)

Anonymous said...

--> interesting